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I'm a business journalist and a fiction author. My novel Mute is available now from Silver Leaf Books.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Wake up! Worst professions to be caught sleeping at

In honor of the FAA and the air traffic controllers all across the country getting busted for sleeping on the job, I've compiled this list of the worst professions to be caught nodding off.

Middle school teacher: Imagine what the kids would do the the classroom, especially a science lab with chemicals and burners. 

Border security: Truck full of missiles, right on through.

Cameraman for live sports: The viewers would wonder why the camera continues focusing on the empty side of the court.

Firefighter: I know the house is burning, but the bed looks so comfy.

Public speaker: For once, I'd like to see a speaker fall asleep standing up and start snoring into the mic. That's what half the audience is doing anyway.

Bartender during a soccer match: Getting in between hooligans and their beer is a bad idea.

Surgeon: Can't you take a cat nap during that eight-hour surgery? It's not like the patient will notice. 

DJ: What happened to the music? This party sucks. - Extra points for at a wedding.

NASCAR driver: Many amateur drivers have trouble sleeping behind the wheel, but nodding off going 180 mph would be a little worse.

TV news anchor: I'd love to see the show return from a boring news segment to find the anchor completely out, drool running down the chin.

Fighter jet pilot: Worse than a commercial airline pilot, who has a co-pilot and crew for a wake up call. Plus, bombs on board.

Astronaut on a spacewalk: You're drifting away! Come in!

Zookeeper: Not a good idea to doze in the cage with the gorillas.

Of course, there are professions where I wish the people would go into a deep sleep. Telemarketers, for instance.

I would have mentioned the regulators at the Federal Reserve and the SEC, but it's already obvious they were asleep at the switch during the banking crisis.